Ugly, dangerous, or disrespectful, these things have no place at the gym.
These make you look like a robot-ninja, and not in a good way. If you must wear these, keep them on the road where they belong. Plus, we heard they might not even do what they’re supposed to do.
These show too much and make you look like you’re in love with yourself, which aren’t good looks for men. If you must wear these, throw some shorts over ’em like Russell Westbrook or Kanye. That way, it’s easier on the eyes and your fellow gym goers won’t hate you.
Sure, Esquire can get down with some tailored short-shorts for summer, but these super short dolphin shorts lack style and, um, substance. These things are for running, and running only. Preferably running far, far away from the gym.
Huge Basketball Shorts
Yes, super short-shorts are the worst, but don’t go too far the other way. These are baggy, saggy, and look dated. Every time you wear them to the gym, we’re worried that they’re going to get caught in the leg press and get you crushed, which, despite how much we hate you for wearing these, we don’t want to see either.
Come on guys, the pit-stained T-shirt is so gross that it’s become a cultural trope that only equals one thing: total slob. White T-shirts look best brand new, so just pick up a new three-pack please, which you can get literally anywhere. If the pit stains mystify you, we’re here to tell you they’re caused by antiperspirant, not sweat itself. Ask yourself which is worse and choose accordingly.
Sure, you need extra support and want to protect your toes when you’re throwing down that barbell, but just get some high-tops and call it a day. These look terrible, and dirty up the gym.
I know we have some big Andre Agassi fans out there, but denim is honestly the worst possible material you could pick to work out in. Let’s see, heavy, restrictive, and weird. Perfect. No seriously, just get some well-cut gym shorts and we can all go back the elliptical machine.
Sandals at the gym aren’t good for you and they aren’t good for us. Sure you might pump out some curls in those Birkenstocks, but your cardio is really going to suffer bro. Also, watch those toes. Or just get some sneakers like a normal human being.
Nip Slip Tanks
Dude, you don’t have to show us your nipple just to show off your massive pecs. Scale that tank top up a bit and get some coverage. We’ll still be able to see those muscles ripple (not that we want to).
Yes, we have seen this. Really. Going barefoot to the gym combines all the worst things on this list into one atrocity. This is dangerous, ugly (even if you got your toes did, dude), and obviously unsanitary. When you do this you taint not only the treadmill, but also every mat, carpet, and machine you touch. Wiping it down’s not going to help. Get some goddamn shoes (and socks).